Thief
by Courtness
Summary: Cloud is filled with thoughts of his old friend, thoughts that might not be good to his health, or his sanity… (Yaoi; ZackxCloud)


**Thief**

*~*~*

**A/N: **This is a one-shot. Yes, one-shot. That means nothing after this, though I think that's rather apparent... 

Cloud/Zack. In other words, shounen-ai. Wewt. This is the first time I've ever written Cloud in a serious manner, so bear with me. 

*~*~*

Cloud was sitting in an empty room.  
  
Empty… that was one feeling he knew far too well.  
  
Even though the world had been saved from the Ultimate Destructive Magic, and he was now helping Tifa rebuild her bar in Junon until he figured out what he wanted to do next, he still felt… empty.  
  
He had always felt this way, hadn't he? _No… there was one time when I didn't feel like this. When I was with…_ him.  
  
A collection of stray pictures scattered across the table. Grabbing one between thumb and forefinger, he brought it nearer to his glowing eyes to get a better look.  
  
The quality of the picture was horrible. The corners were curled inwards and one was even ripped off. There was a big blotch of ink in the center and the actual picture itself was beginning to fade. Cloud didn't care - he maybe even liked it more this way.  
  
It was, of course, of him and Zack. Zack had his arm firmly gripped around Cloud's shoulder, was giving him bunny ears over his spiky head, and had a large grin lighting up his features. Cloud, on the other hand, had the look of not trying to fall over and yet still smile at the same time. _Yeah. I was happy, then. Six years ago, wasn't it?_  
  
And then it was all… gone.  
  
It hadn't been fair. Then again, when was anything ever fair?  
  
There were some few blissful months, and the minute he had finally become comfortable with it, it was all taken away.  
  
_I've never been allowed happiness. Just… empty._  
  
He laid the picture down and tried to bring the happiness back once again, just for a second. He spoke to the empty room, feeling his voice echoing and bouncing off of the walls.  
  
"I think I remember the most when I first met him. I had just been given the regular's uniform… I was trying to find a bathroom where I could change into it, see how it felt, how it looked. And then I saw him in a training session." He took a deep breath and paused, giving the picture, resting on the table in front of him, a rueful smile.   
  
"The first thing I noticed was that he was First Class. I felt sort of lucky - I had just gotten into Shin-Ra and I'd already seen a First Class SOLDIER!" He shook his head - it almost seemed silly now. "Next thing that I noticed was the way he could fight - it was mesmerizing. I hoped from then on that I'd one day be able to fight like that."  
  
He ran two fingers down the picture in some strange sort of affection. "I think I may have even beaten you out now, Zack."  
  
"So I watched you for a while." _Why am I addressing him now…?_ "I hadn't expected you to walk over when you were done. I was really nervous. Thought you were gonna tell me to stop gawking or something like that. But no. You… were nice. Really nice. It was surprising. I had always been under the impression that SOLDIERs were strict. And mean." He chuckled softly to himself. "This all seems so strange now. I hate talking like this - but I… need to."  
  
"… and so after a bit something sparked. We managed to see each other now and then - when you weren't on a mission and when I wasn't training - and when I was with you, I was always happy. Always."  
  
He leaned back in his chair, staring up at the ceiling. "And then you were gone." Silence. He let silence rule for a moment, let it burn in his ears. No response. Of course not.  
  
"I didn't know what from what, then. Who I was, where I was… you know, now that I put more thought into it… I don't know if I wanted to _be_ you as much as I wanted you to _be_ with me. I guess I thought if I was you, I could be with you forever. Or… something like that." A sigh.  
  
Loud footsteps ringing from the hallway. It was Tifa. Probably coming to bother him about the "assignment" he was supposed to be working on. It was one of her gloves - it had metal knuckles that were supposed to be sharpened so that they were spiked, perfect for slicing through the enemy, but they had dulled down from excessive usage. He was supposed to get them sharp again. (Though he didn't really know what the use was now that they weren't fighting anymore…)   
  
He had never been good with this kind of thing, so he didn't really know why she expected him to do this. Maybe she was trying to keep him busy - so he wouldn't think about him as much. Well, so much for that working.  
  
He scrambled for the glove in question, mixed in amongst the many pictures on the tables, and picked up the knife he had been using with his right hand, then quickly beginning to work on it. At least this way she couldn't scold him…  
  
Just in time. The door opened right after. Tifa remained in the doorway, ruby brown eyes watching him. "Wow, you're actually working on it." She smiled crookedly, but Cloud never saw it. He kept his head bowed, bent over the glove, acting as if he was totally emerged. This was usually the best way to get rid of her. After a while she'd saying something like, "I'll leave you to your work, then," and retreat quietly.  
  
She kept away, still lurking by the doorway. "So… you all right? I worry about you, just sitting back here."  
  
She was always "worried about him". For the entire time they had known each other she had been "worried about him". It was one of the things he hated about her. He couldn't believe he had actually had a crush on her. Then again, that had been a long time ago, when he was just a kid. It was nothing you could call _love_.  
  
He felt like saying something sharp, snappy. "I don't need you to worry about me," or something like that. But he just mumbled an, "I'm fine," as he continued to feign being focused.  
  
She said something like, "I'll leave you to your work, then," and retreated quietly.  
  
He continued to work on the sharpening for a few moments longer, but when he noticed it wasn't getting anywhere he set the knife back down and tossed the glove across the table until it almost skittered off the edge.  
  
He leaned back in his chair again and closed his eyes. It wasn't just Tifa. Everyone had been concerned about him lately. Why…? Because he was obsessed. They never said it like that. But he knew it. He knew it far too well. He was obsessed about Zack; infatuated with him. It had started after he had regained an idea of who he was, and more importantly, who Zack was. Except the world had been on the brink of destruction then, so he had really only had time to think about it after Sephiroth had been disposed of.  
  
But he had lots of time.  
  
And so that was what had caused him to dig up these old pictures, these old memories. He didn't know how many days he had spent like this, sitting in this empty room, going over every bit of time he had ever spent with Zack. Come to think of it, what he had spoken of today, about his first meeting with the only person he had ever loved - that had been the last of it. He had poured over all of it.  
  
_Will I finally be able to forget about him now?_  
  
Of course not. This was just the beginning. He'd get into the more intricate details. His exact feelings and emotions at every moment… and then he'd get inside Zack's head - figure out his feelings in the same straining detail. It wouldn't be hard - he _had_ been Zack at one point.   
  
_God… I don't want to do this… why is my mind making me? I'd rather just die. No reason for me to live now… Maybe I'll even see him… in the Lifestream?_  
  
He lost his breath at the thought. How amazing that would be. To meet him once again. To reunite.  
  
But for now… he just wanted to sleep. Dream, sleep… that was the one place that hadn't been infected with Zack Zack Zack. But it would be soon.  
  
And so he tried to doze off. In a matter of moments he sensed someone enter the room. Most likely Tifa again, come to check on him, come to catch him in the act of not working and reprimand him for it. Well, let her. He didn't give a damn. He wanted sleep.  
  
He heard her take a few steps towards him, probably trying to be sneaky, planning some way to scare him "awake". Though she _had_ been stealthier this time. He hadn't been able to detect her footsteps as she had neared the room.  
  
"Dammit. Junon. Junon of all places. _That's_ where you were this entire time. Why'd you have to pick the _last_ town on my list of places where I should look for you, Cloud?"  
  
He froze. That wasn't Tifa's voice. It was masculine, sexy, and yet somehow playful and childish at the same time. It was calming. Almost husky at times. It was beautiful. It was Zack.   
  
He opened his eyes. Lo and behold, there he stood. Black, messy, hedgehoggish hair. Fine-toned muscles. Navy blue uniform, though it was a bit tattered. Foolhardy grin. Azure eyes, but the Mako was still there. It would always be. No sword, but that was all that was different. Everything else was exactly the same.   
  
That happiness surged through him again, bringing him back to life. He thought he was going to cry. "It… it really is you, isn't it?" He stood from his chair, simply staring at him.   
  
"Yep. Don't worry, you haven't gone crazy yet." That grin seemed to stay plastered on his face, no matter what.  
  
"So… so you survived, then?" he asked, his voice shaky. It was hard for him to remain composed when he was on the brink of breaking down from the immense happiness. It seemed unreal - too good to be true. He was scared he was dreaming.  
  
"Yep! They didn't take me down so easy." His demeanor seemed proud, arrogant, but not obnoxiously so. Just like before.  
  
"But _how_? And where were you this entire time?"  
  
"That doesn't matter, does it? I'm here now, right?" He started to walk towards Cloud.  
  
"Yeah, I guess you're right. We can always talk about it later. God, Zack. You don't know how much I've missed you. I'm so glad to have you back." He was relieved, happy. This was what would stop him problems, end his obsession. This was the real solution. Maybe it had been fate, then? He didn't know, but he felt like his heart was going to give in from all the joy that was flooding into it all at once.   
  
"I'm glad to be back, too." He unsheathed a knife from some place concealed within his uniform and held it up to Cloud's neck. They were face to face now. Cloud could see how his grin had turned into something almost malevolent - he could see the unfamiliar flare in his eyes.  
  
_Not Mako… that's just… revenge?_  
  
At first he perceived it to be a joke. But one couldn't fake the look in his eyes. Then came old thoughts… an imposter, a hallucination, he was dreaming.   
  
"No," Zack said. His tone was exanimate. "It's all real."   
  
"Wh--why? What happened? What did I--?"  
  
"How _dare_ you ask why! Why, he says… How can you be so _stupid_? You leave me for dead… that I can understand. But fuck, you steal my sword, you steal my girlfriend-"  
  
"But Zack! Aeris was before! Don't you remember… us?" He felt the knife dig into his throat as he spoke.  
  
"Of course I do! It doesn't _matter_. You stole my identity, you stole my life - you stole it all. But you know what? I can forgive all that. What gets me, what hurts the most, is that you stole my heart."  
  
Cloud felt the warm blood trickling down his neck. "Wh-what do you mean?"  
  
"I loved you. More than anything in the world. That wasn't supposed to happen. I was supposed to be First Class, the best, surpassable only by Sephiroth. But love ruins that all. It's _weakness_. I'm **putty** in your hands. That wasn't supposed to happen! It all fell down from there. Because of that. The experiments, almost getting killed, and even after that! You were on my mind. All the time. In my thoughts. Breaking me, killing me. All that existed was you. And it didn't stop. I was fucking _obsessed_ with you. I _am_ fucking obsessed with you. And so I scoured the world. I searched high and low. For you. And here you are."  
  
It was the same. The same exact way had been feeling for the past few months. But Zack was different from before. As much as he had thought he was the same just a few minutes earlier - that's how much he was different. He had never acted this way towards him before. He had never said a mean thing, given a dirty look - and now he was so unbearably furious, so raging, so _angry_, that he was practically foaming at the mouth.  
  
Cloud felt the knife still lightly brushing against his skin - it lingered there. Zack refused to move it. "But Zack… we can work that all out now. We can talk about it all, fix it all, make it - make it all better. We can be _together_ again. Happy again. We can do this. I promise. So please just hear me out, give it a try." He knew the Zack he loved years ago was under all this - he just had to find him.  
  
Zack smiled faintly and leaned in to kiss him. His tongue dove into Cloud's mouth, locking with his own. They danced, tumbled, rolled, linked together. The knife was still pressed at his throat; Zack had probably just forgotten to lower his hand in the "heat of the moment".   
  
_He tastes the same…_ Cloud thought. This was it; the sign that he would try, that he would forgive him. That they could figure it out, iron out all the bugs. It was ecstasy, all he had waited for, what he had lived for, the sign that they could once again become what they had been before. That he could be happy, not empty. He leaned into the kiss as he felt their tongues mingle. He basked in this feeling, bathed in it, drenched in it, soaked in it. He wanted it to last forever, and it almost felt like it did.  
  
He felt the hot tears streaming down his cheeks. And then Zack pulled away, looking him straight in the eye. "I love you," he said.  
  
And then he slit his throat.  
  
o. wa. ri.  
  
_I see  
The blood all over your hands  
Does it make you feel  
More like a man  
Was it all  
Just a part of your plan  
  
Always  
Always  
Always_

- Saliva


End file.
